Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
