bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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