she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
