I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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