She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
