don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
