You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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