whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
