A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
