Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
