We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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