I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
