I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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