I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
