I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
