But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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