he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
