jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
