my shit smells like andre
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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