my sisters under your porch take her home
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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