Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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