the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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