I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
