she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
