my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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