i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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