maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
