This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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