My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
