I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
