I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
