I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
