i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
