I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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