I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
