i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
