Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
