i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
