somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
