she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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