this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
