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I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
