These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
