For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
