You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
