Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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