Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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