after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
