Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
