actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
FUCK WHALES
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
