Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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