super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
