Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Where is the hickey?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
